How to Work in the Garden

When I go out to work in the garden, I put on a T-shirt and capris and flip-flops, slip cell phone in pocket and head out the door. Stop. It’s too hot for capris. Go back in and put on shorts. Head out the door. Stop. If I’m gonna be getting some sun, it would be better to be wearing a tank top so I don’t get a farmer’s tan. Go back in and put on a tank top. Go out the door. Stop. Go back in and get a hat to shade face and put on some sunscreen. Head out the door. Stop. The shorts have pockets that are too shallow to keep cell phone from falling out. Go back into bedroom and find a pair of shorts that have deeper pockets and put them on. Head out the door. Stop. Can’t use the shovel when wearing flip-flops because I need shoes with a harder sole. Go back in and put on Keens. No wonder I don’t work in the garden more often.

I finally got rid of the enormous house fly that was buzzing our home and annoying us greatly for about a week. Life would be great if I had a flyswatter, but I don’t, so when the fly showed up in the living room window, I got a towel and I snapped it. Bull’s-eye. The fly fell to the carpet, dead. I picked it up with the towel, but when I opened the towel to drop the dead fly in to the wastebasket, surprise! The fly had only been stunned. Probably faking. It flew into the kitchen window. I used the towel to capture it again. I held the fly in the towel and squeezed tight to make sure that the fly would be dead this time, but when I opened the towel, it wasn’t. It flew back into the window and got behind the window and crawled on the screen. I shooed it into the upper part of the window, and then I took out the screen. It flew away into the wide world. I hope I never see it again. This is just so you know that there’s a giant housefly somewhere in the world that is very difficult to kill and is probably reproducing.